Behind These Blue Eyes Read online

  Table of Contents

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  Behind

  These Blue Eyes

  The Adventures of Blue Faust:

  Between the Adventures

  By Cecilia Randell

  Copyright © 2017 by Cecilia Randell

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotes in a book review.

  This is for the Original Cheerful Bulldozer, my mother, who continuously shows me what true strength is.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 1

  “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the

  little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.”

  ― Mary Anne Radmacher

  BLUE

  Blue’s breathing sped up. Wherever she was, it was dark. She could just make out a gray stone floor in front of her, but beyond that all she could see was an inky dark obscuring everything else.

  “Hello?” she called out.

  There was a faint scraping sound from behind. She spun, straining to see any movement. Nothing. Her heart pounded, as if trying to escape her chest. Another scrape, and then a voice, “Hello little star.”

  “Trevon?”

  A figure stepped into the low light around her. It wasn’t Trevon, though, it was Phillip. “I’m so glad to have you back. I’ve been missing you. Why did you have to leave me?” As she watched, his face faded to gray, the muscles going slack. His brown eyes went cold and flat. “I need more life,” he murmured.

  Another sound, a low sobbing, and she twisted to see Phe kneeling on the cold stone floor. “Why? Why couldn’t you save him? Why couldn’t you save them?” Behind Phe stood Eric and Danny, lifeless, just like Phillip.

  Blue tried to move, but couldn’t. She opened her mouth to speak to Phe, to reassure her, but nothing would come out.

  A hand grabbed her shoulder from behind, spinning her around. Derrick. “Tell me, was your life really worth mine?” There was no inflection in his voice, no expression on his face, but she could feel the accusation.

  “I don’t think it was.” Forrest stood behind his cousin, his face hard, condemning.

  Kevin appeared beside her and whispered in her ear, “Why’d you have to sit next to me in class? You could have sat anywhere else. Why me?” Then he added, even quieter, “I wish I’d never met you.”

  They were all there, surrounding her, closing in, and behind them inky darkness. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t offer any explanations or do anything to make things right. Her heart pounded harder and her breath came in gasps.

  Then Phe’s face was before hers, cold and gray. “I hate you.”

  Blue jolted awake, tears streaming from the corners of her eyes. She struggled to breathe, trying to get her gasping cries to subside. Once they had, she looked to her bedside table. The clock read 4:45 AM. There were still a couple of hours until it would be time to get up for school, but she didn’t think she could sleep more at this point.

  She stared up at the ceiling. The air conditioning kicked on, blowing a dry, slightly stale waft of air over her face.

  She had collapsed since they’d returned from Karran. It had started when they reached the parking lot, and seen Phi’s car sitting there, a bold red statement. Phe, who had seemed to be holding up well until then, let out a cry and leaned heavily against Kevin, who had a lost expression on his face. Forrest stared at the car and truck parked together, face stiff.

  The guilt swept over her, just as it first had back in Karran. There had been too much death, and it was because of her, because she’d been there.

  “Let’s go,” Jason had said, his voice as stiff as his posture.

  Staring at that bright red car, Blue knew his plan wouldn’t work. “Wait,” she’d said. “It’s not going to work. The car is too… noticeable. It’s distinctive. If you say they left before we even started the hike, it will be too obviously a lie. Too many people will have seen the car sitting there.” She hated to bring it up, to sound so logical. Now was not a time for reason, now was a time for mourning and recovery.

  “She’s right,” Forrest said, still gazing at the two vehicles. His voice was toneless, and her heart ached.

  Jason took a deep breath. “Okay, new plan. I’ll drive the car out now. We don’t have another person to take Derrick’s place, but we’ll just have to risk it. I’ll come back later for my car. Kevin, can you take the two agents to Eric and Danny’s houses?” Jason looked at the two Ministry agents. “You know what to do. If anyone appears to be home, try to be as quiet as you can when you get there, and go straight upstairs. Kevin, you’ve been to their places, so can you describe the layout for them? And where their bedrooms are? Blue, you’ll need to take Phe home. Now, for the fun part.” He braced his feet apart. “Forrest, hit me.”

  “Gladly.” Forrest walked to Jason, pulled back his fist, and let loose, putting his shoulder into it. He hit the same place Mo’ata had, over a bruise just starting to turn yellow. Jason staggered back, but didn’t fall. Forrest pulled his arm back again, ready for another hit, and Jason said, “Enough, that’s enough.”

  “If your goal is to make it look like you were in a fight, that’s not enough.” She probably shouldn’t be enjoying this. “Hit him again, Forrest.”

  Forrest did, this time giving him a bloody lip.

  “Okay, that should be enough.” It was an effort to keep her tone even. “Forrest, you don’t want your hand bruised, don’t want it to seem like you were involved in the fight.” She walked up to Jason, staring him straight in eyes. “So, the new plan is for you to have gotten in a fight with Phi, he takes off with Derrick, and the rest is the same? It’s still not great, but better. Fine. I’ve also got a plan. If anyone asks, I’m going to direct them to you. You have some sort of rivalry going with Phi. I don’t know what it’s about, but it’s obvious. Also, you’re leaving. You can afford to take a fall. We,” she’d said, gesturing to Forrest, Kevin and Phe, “can’t.”

  Her hands had clenched into fists and Blue eased them open. Her anger at Jason had broken through her control, shoving aside the grief and guilt. She would do her best to protect herself and the friends she had left. Currently, if it meant Jason took the blame for the disappearances, then it was fine with her.

  “Blue, stop. It’s really not his fault,” Kevin cut in. He’d stepped away from Phe, coming to Jason’s defense. She didn’t understand it, but she also knew there were undercurrents and stories she didn’t know.

  “Fine.”

  “No, it’s a good idea,” said Jason. “I had hoped to not completely burn my cover here, but if need be, I can take the blame and disappear. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

  Another thought came to her. “So, what was this fight about? I mean, if they ask us about it, what happened?”

  Everyone looked at each other. No one knew what the fight was about?

  “Okay, who swung first? Why?” When there was still no answer, she sighed. “Really? You’re the secret agent guy and you don’t have this down? Seriously? Fine, Phillip swung first because Jason made some asshole comment to him. Phe, what’s an asshole comment that w
ould set off Phi?”

  Phe had been hanging back, but at this blurted out, “If Jason said he only quit the team because he knew he wouldn’t have been able to hack it anyways.”

  Blue raised her brows, but when no one else had a better suggestion, she went with it. “Fine, Jason is an asshole and it set Phillip off. Phillip swung first, there was a fight, blows were exchanged and then Eric and Danny pulled them apart. How about that? Any questions?”

  There were none, and because there was nothing else to do, they went through with the plan. She took Phe home, going in with her and making sure she got to her room. Her parents had been there, but hadn’t asked about Phillip. When they’d made it to Phe’s room, they both collapsed on the bed, neither speaking for a while.

  Finally, she worked up some courage. “Phe, I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t know about any of it, the portals, my father, none of it. I never would have gone on the hike, and I never would have invited you, if I’d known that would happen.”

  Phe remained silent for several minutes. Blue risked a glance, only to find Phe looking at her. Her eyes were red, but clear of tears. She couldn’t read her expression; nothing about it gave away what Phe was thinking.

  “Phe?”

  “Life is a funny thing. You go along, just doing what you’re doing, when it changes. Changes for the good, changes for the bad, whatever. It’s always changing.” Phe turned her head back, gazing again at the ceiling. “We’re fine, Blue. Go home. I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

  “Are you going to be okay alone? I can stay.”

  “I’ll have to be okay, won’t I? Just… give me this. I need some time, just to myself.”

  Blue got up, but hesitated at the door. “You’ll call me if you need anything?”

  “Yeah, I’ll call you.” Phe’s voice was weary.

  “Promise? I’ll worry.”

  “Yes, mom, I promise.”

  She left, though she felt funny about it. Like she shouldn’t have, but she also hadn’t wanted to impose. She suddenly questioned everything. She’d known these people for not quite three weeks, including the time spent in Karran. She counted them as friends, but were they? What did she know? She didn’t know them well enough to have any idea of what may help them. It made her feel helpless, and she hated that feeling. She walked down the stairs and out the door of Phe’s house, trying to shake off the emotions. She needed to hold things together.

  Monday at school, no one said anything. Blue remained convinced everyone knew something had happened, especially when Phi and Derrick didn’t show up, nor did Eric and Danny. By the time lunch came around, the rumors flowed.

  She hoped to get an update. Earlier in the morning, she hadn’t wanted to ask about how things had gone after they all split up on Sunday, since she wasn’t supposed to know anyone had gone missing.

  Grabbing her food, she took a seat next to Kevin at the players’ table, keeping her ears open.

  “Hey, Blue, you were there, right? Is it true that Phillip took a swing at Jason for no reason?” It was one of the guys on the team—Chase, maybe. She didn’t know him any more than she knew the others.

  She stared at him, her stomach tightening, disconcerted by being put on the spot. This would be harder than she thought.

  “What?”

  “On the hike. Come on, tell us what happened.”

  She shrugged, trying to maintain her composure. “He took a couple swings, but so did Jason. I have no idea what it was about, though.”

  “I heard it was about you,” one of the cheerleaders said, her smile sly.

  Blue had no idea what to say. Her brows scrunched and mouth went slack as she sought a come back.

  “Knock it off, y’all. I told you what happened. It had nothing to do with Blue. Phillip was just bringing up old shit again, okay? I didn’t like it, and then he went off.” Jason came to her rescue.

  What had everyone been saying? She didn’t like not knowing what was going on, and she needed to get to the bottom of everything.

  Kevin sat next to her, strangely silent. He’d been quiet in Physics too, when Mr. Cremmin had everyone break off into pairs for the lab. He’d not spoken to her more than needed for the project, and kept his eyes focused on their notes and outlines, barely glancing her way, even when she tried to see how he was holding up.

  She leaned in a little closer to him. “Kevin?” She was afraid to say more, for someone to overhear something they shouldn’t.

  He shot her a quick glance and gave his head a slight shake. “Later.”

  She settled back in her seat. There wasn’t anything else to do at the moment. The table was subdued, quieter than normal. A couple of the girls leaned together, whispering and shooting Blue and Jason sly, narrow-eyed looks. Were they a couple of the same girls who had been at the concert last week – no, Saturday night? Had that really only two days ago here?

  A new boy came up to the edge of the table. “Any of you know where Eric or Danny are? We were supposed to meet up earlier for extra practice, and neither one showed. They’re also not answering their phones.”

  Her stomach churned and she pushed away her tray. Everyone shook their heads, indicating no. Lunch went on. It was strange, surreal. She kept expecting police to barge through the doors, or someone to point accusingly at her and cry ‘they’re dead and she killed them’, or something equally dramatic. She waited for an explosion, one only she anticipated.

  Life continued on, and no one knew everything had changed.

  She glanced over to Phe’s table. She sat there, along with Forrest. Some of their friends shot dark looks at the football table. Shit. Someone must have asked why Derrick and Phi weren’t there. She needed to know what was being said. Blue started to rise to go over, but Kevin caught her arm. “Not now. Later. Later, okay?”

  Nodding, she sat down again. The anticipation twisted in her stomach. She pulled her tray back in and tried to finish some of her food before the bell rang, but she couldn’t seem to swallow anything, and what she got down sat like a hard lump in her stomach.

  JASON

  He snuck another glance at Blue. The skin around her eyes was tight, and her mouth pinched. Her shoulders were hunched and she kept shooting looks at Forrest’s table. She was anticipating the fall-out of their mis-adventure, and it hadn’t happened yet.

  He hated seeing her like this, hated that she, and the others, had been put through such an ordeal. She picked at her food, not really eating. It was so different from the Blue of the night of the concert, or even the one who’d been on Karran. Their last couple of days there, exploring the world and city with her had been so much fun, even beneath the shadow of their missing friends. He wanted to do something to erase the current pain he could see in her, and get that lively girl back, but she wouldn’t accept his help, not now.

  FORREST

  Forrest glanced again at where Blue sat with Kevin and Jason. He knew they needed to not do anything different from their normal routine, and if they stuck with the normal trade-off, it was football-table day, but he detested seeing her over there. He wanted her here, next to him. He’d worried about her the night before, and she didn’t appear like she’d slept at all.

  Back on Karran, they’d avoided thoughts of their friends’ deaths, and what happened to Phi, preoccupied with simply surviving and getting home. When they returned and found the car and truck next to each other, it had hit him; his cousin was gone. They’d been together their entire lives, and suddenly he was just… gone.

  He shifted his attention to Phe, who watched Kevin. Anything could be going on there, Phe was changeable, at best. He’d been surprised when she took Blue under her wing, actually. It wasn’t something she would normally do. At the same time, Phe could be incredibly generous when the mood struck, and it was usually only with those she cared about.

  Something about Blue does tend to bring that out in others.

  She’d been a good influence on Phe, even in such a short amount of time. Kevin was
a good influence as well. Hopefully he could help Phe through this. Hopefully, the two of them would finally get together. Maybe something good would come out of this tragedy.

  The thought brought the loss of Derrick and Phi to the fore, but it was unreal, strange, like they had just played hooky, or were home sick. But they weren’t, and he and Phe had a front to keep up.

  Forrest steeled himself. Time to begin the game.

  “Phe?”

  “Hmmm?” She didn’t look at him.

  “Where’s Phi?”

  She shrugged. “Don’t know. He never came home after he took off with Derrick yesterday.” Her expression was bored, nonchalant. If Forrest didn’t know better, he’d believe exactly what everyone else did. That it was no big deal, just Phi taking off again for a night.

  “Where’s Derrick?” Becca asked. She sat a little farther down the table.

  Forrest’s throat tightened. He wasn’t sure he could do this. He swallowed, hard, and tried to relax the muscles in his face, put on a slightly puzzled expression. “Not sure. I texted him earlier but he hasn’t answered. Of course, if he went off with Phi, you know how that can go.”

  Everyone at the table accepted this, a couple shrugging and returning to their food, others rolling their eyes and continuing their conversations. It was true. When Derrick and Phi got into something, they could go missing for a bit. No one worried, they always showed up later.

  Forrest’s heart pounded and his palms damp. I suck at this deception thing. He looked again at Phe and their eyes met. It was only a matter of time before someone put things together and they were questioned.

  “I heard the fight was over that girl with the blue hair.” The whisper carried from the table behind Phe. Her face tightened as she sat up straighter. Phe spun around, facing the girl who had spoken.

  “You know nothing about what happened, so you need to shut your trap. Now.” Phe stood, and Forrest rose with her, showing his support. He wouldn’t allow any of this come back on Blue.